The dullest job in the world... in one part because no one should have to read more than one part about this.

I was going to write about a very nice thing that happened to me while visiting Ireland, but due to recent circumstances, I will first log a blog about my job here. As some of you know, I have accepted a job at one of the major IT companies. I was hoping to learn a little more about computers during my stay here, but turns out I have only learned to use one particular system, and I haven’t mastered that one very well either…

When I first applied for some jobs abroad, one company was very keen on having me. I had just put my CV online, and I received more than 5 calls the first day. Apparently my knowledge of Dutch, pretty standard in Belgium, is a certified way of getting a job at a helpdesk or callcenter in Ireland. I just went with the first company that offered me a job, because the girl that wanted to hire me was pretty nice and because the company seemed quite eager to have me on board. I even received a telephone call from a different girl, same agency, for the same job.

So I did all my interviews. I even passed the French one without major difficulties… Only after I had done all my tests and they had confirmed their job offer did they ask me to do a test to check my computer skills. Seems like a topsy-turvy world to me, but I was quite happy with that. The computer test was just to check what level of training I had to go to.

When I arrived in Dublin though I think they must have checked that last test, and found out I don’t know anything about computers… I should have known they would catch on to that sooner or later. So they offered me a job at the helpdesk for business-clients, which involves no troubleshooting, you just handle a computer program to transfer calls from the first telephone call to the troubleshooter in question.

So I got to work on my first day, a bit apprehensive yet still quite eager, and I went to my first morning of training with a number of other people. I was quite surprised when it turned out that after lunch, I was the only one that was to be training at an entirely different department. The first morning was just a general intake, which involved things like dress code (that no one follows), security measures (that no one takes seriously), and an explanation about taxes, pay-checks, bank accounts and the like (that no one understood). All of us newbies were non-native speakers of English, apart from one, and when this girl came in and told us in five minutes flat how to fill out our official forms, and where to send them, even the English guy didn’t understand completely. So he asked her to repeat it, and she stormed out saying she would ask our regular trainer to help us idiots with the filling out of five different forms that all had to go somewhere else. The regular trainer returned, and explained in mono-syllabic words how, when and where these forms should be processed.

After lunch my new team leader was supposed to pick me up. I waited for about an hour until she finally came to get me, and I followed her to this office hidden behind the ink-cartridge production department. There was no one else that was starting training at that point, so they just told me to sit in with other people and look at what they were doing. One of my new colleagues told me to come sit with her, she would show me the system, so when I sat down I was quite surprised that she turned to her friend and started yapping away and gossiping about all our other colleagues for about 15 minutes. I soon found out that if I actually wanted to learn something this was the worst person to sit next to, and still my coach kept telling me to watch what the girl was doing. This girl had an interesting way of explaining: she just went like: “So, you click on this, then you click on that, then this button and you select that option, and then you send it through.” Excuse me? Is there a logic to this system, or a reason to press one button and not another? But all my questions were answered with a “You just do.”

So I pottered around for a bit, trying to get the system. After a couple of days the official trainer came up to me and asked me to sit in on a training session with some Scandinavian people, who use an entirely different system and were already in their second and third week of training. Needless to say, I would have preferred to start at the beginning… Call me crazy if you like. A couple of days later I finally received the initial introduction training. Though the trainer is a nice girl, she rather believes too much in hands-on experience. A training session starts with her accessing her laptop, doing her job while constantly uttering comments, often sotto voce, and explaining with another country’s system what I am supposed to be doing. I’ve had better trainings… in kindergarten. I especially liked the bit of our first beginner’s training session, when after a half an hour she finally had her laptop running and then went out for a smoke…

After two weeks of ‘training’ I had to do my test. By now I had more or less mastered the system, and everyone was very patient with me while I was doing the test. Someone can sit behind you while you’re taking it, and you’re allowed to ask questions, so there really wasn’t any way you could fail it (though some of my colleagues have, repeatedly, or so I heard). I panicked a bit during my French test, but got through it in the end. I figured now I would start working. No, now I was ready for another two weeks of training.

Also, with the department moving back to Belgium, there was only so much to do in a day. I have time to update my Facebook status, answer my emails, write a blog… Still there is one hour that fills me with dread… at 4 PM Irish time the Belgian shift ends, and the calls are being transferred back to us… including the Indians. Though a nice people an sich, having an Indian guy on the other end of a Transatlantic telephone connection is not the best part of your day. They never tell you what they want, or they tell you the same thing over and over again. “Yes, I am calling for company, can you give me ticket?” “Sure, in 10 minutes or so, can you give me your serial number please?” “I need ticket.” “Yes, I understand that, but first I need a serial number so we know which part of our gigantic product line is faulty.” “Ah, yes, EVA Proliant 66 5…” “No sir, that is not the serial number, and we do have a few of those Proliants out there… I really must insist on a serial number.” “Ok, 1035…” “No, that is your Carepack number, but it can work. Let me try that.” “Ok, i also have number 4636...” “So, you have made a case already?” “Yes, I want update on ticket.” Well, if you could have told me this 10 minutes ago I would probably be in a much better mood right now.  

Still, right now it’s quite a cushy job. My phone has not rung all day, I’ve made a total of 6 cases, I have corrected some texts and I have written 3 pages for my blog just today. If only this place wasn’t so terribly dull, I might actually like this job.